Monday, September 05, 2016


I don't know what's happening to me. From the beginning of time, I've been looking forward to my holidays like nothing else mattered. But this one seems so dead, so crushed. It's not because there isn't anything to do, it just feels as though I don't want to do anything. For the last four days in a row, I've managed to sleep for 12 hours because I didn't see any reason to get out of bed. I didn't eat because I didn't really see the need to eat, and every time I tried to launch a game I just felt like I wasn't having fun, so I stopped. I even went to bed at 7pm because the computer wasn't entertaining me.

I suddenly have this deep-seated lethargy that makes me not want to do anything, not even write. I've tried picking up the pen and pencil but it's as if the ideas are breaking against the dam of my fingers, which have no motivation to pen anything down. Yesterday, I skipped a meeting with my Rhapsody mates and friends because I was too lazy to go out, and I couldn't imagine having fun among so many people. It was something that I had been looking forward to for weeks.

In fact, there is only one thing I feel like I really want to do at this point of time, but it makes me feel selfish and I don't want to drag other people into this.